My sharing centered around the gift I had purchased off their gift registry for them - a skillet. After purchasing the skillet, I decided to include a recipe that used a skillet and the ingredients from the recipe. These things became my "talking points." I had a ribbon with a number attached to each one so she would pull an item out of the gift bag and then I shared something about it and how it related to marriage - took some of the focus off of me.
The first item was the skillet which I had attached the recipe to that I had actually written on part of her wedding invitation. I told her that the skillet was not for hitting her husband on the head with when she wasn't happy with him - at least it wasn't a cast iron skillet. Let the skillet be a reminder to forgive. Yes, there will be times when things get hot and tough and you are frustrated with him but the best thing to do is to talk about it and move on - learn from it and use it for good - just like the hamburger changes and the grease cooks off and is poured out, let your lives together change you for the better and get rid of the bad stuff - put the ingredients in and make something delicious
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;
And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
Next I had attached some money to a ribbon so she could purchase the perishable ingredients - ground beef, cheese, lettuce, sour cream. This gave me an opportunity to talk about money. There will be plenty of times when he'll buy something you think you don't need and he won't understand why you want to buy something he doesn't think you need (like the time Terry spent $90 on a set of war movies that he's yet to watch and I felt like I couldn't spend a $1.25 on a spool of thread that I needed to make something that was going to save him money because I was making it.) And then there will be the endless bridal and baby showers and birthday and anniversary gifts that you feel you need to buy a gift for and he might not quite get it. The best thing to do is talk about it, make a budget, as soon as you know of an expense coming up mention it so it's on both of your radars so you can both be prepared, get creative with gift giving, and try desperately to stick to the budget. Remember you are both on the same side wanting to meet the family needs, bless those around you, and be good stewards - talk about it.
Rice (absorbs the liquid) When I thought about rice, I thought about it’s absorbing of the liquid. Absorb his words and love for you but also spend time absorbing God’s word each day.
2 Timothy 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.
Taco Packet (seasoning) Think about your words. There will be plenty of times you will say the wrong thing or he will - work to ...
..Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. Colossians 4:6
One thing Terry and I found was that my moodiness (aka his inability to do anything right) was very cyclical. We are so thankful we realized that because I was able to vent to him (and I was pretty mean sometimes) but we both knew it would be better the next day/week and we could let it go - we both knew he wasn’t as bad as I thought he was at the moment.
Tomatoes (acidic, seeds) Okay, when you think about tomatoes think about the seeds in them and remember to not let seeds of bitterness take root.
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
If you do see some seeds starting to take root or that have sprouted -$90 for movies, really!? - work to yank them out and throw them away - it’s just selfishness that can destroy you.
Picante Sauce - We’ll let this be the “spice” (sex). Men and women are different. He really does think about it more than you do. Not really a problem in the beginning - it’s just the two of you and you’re not too preoccupied with other things but life keeps going and it loses priority for you and responsibilities take over and it does become more difficult for you to feel “in the mood”. It’s good to remember it is something God created for the both of you to enjoy -it’s okay to let yourself feel sexy and it is something only you can give him - sure he can get sex at any street corner downtown with all the guilt and stuff but that’s not what he needs - he needs true intimacy from you - it really does affect how he feels about himself and it’s one of his ways of showing you his love. That doesn’t mean you have to always be ready and do it every time he makes advances but talk about it, work on it, and when/if God blesses with little ones, don’t forget you had him first - meeting their father’s needs is one of the best things you can do for them. And he really does think your body’s perfect.
Fritos ( three ingredients) We put this out on our plate first and there are three ingredients in fritos - Corn, Corn Oil, and Salt so we’re going to let this one remind you to keep God as the foundation of your home - God the Father, God the Holy Spirit, and God the Son, Jesus Christ. Don’t forget it.
They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.
And I just threw in a game to remind them to have fun and spend time together.
So that was pretty much it. Definitely not earth shattering or a guarantee to success in marriage but hopefully there were some nuggets that will be remembered over the years and they'll choose to persevere.
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